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Damian Ross, Confessions of a Strip Club Bouncer

By Scott Carter, Staff Writer

The lights are low and the club is packed, 25 dancers and 350 customers all blowing off steam, spending their money and trying to forget the work week. It’s a typical Thursday night in Lace Gentlemen’s Club in Wayne New Jersey.

Damian Ross is working the door and a part of a 5 man team tasked to keep order in the club packed with very excited, extremely thirsty patrons. The door is secure, the customers are lining up, ID’s are being checked and the dress code is being enforced: no hats, no ripped or sleeves shirts.

“The main objective is that everyone has a good time,” comments Ross, “It’s an entertainment business and it’s our job to make sure everyone, dancers and patrons alike do it in a safe manner.”

The rules seem simple, no touching the dancers, no touching the patrons, no disruptive behavior. But like all rules, they need constant reinforcement.

“Most of our problems, believe it or not, come from the dancers. They are hustling trying to earn the highest amount of tips, which sometimes leads to a little more than a lap dance. We want the dancers happy, but not at the cost of a liquor license.”

Damian meets with the manager to go over the events for this evening, two bachelor parties. “The exposure with these parties is obvious, a group of guys who haven’t seen each other in a while get together to celebrate their buddies last hurrah as a single man. Add booze and beautiful woman and you get a potential powder keg.”

The strategy Damian Ross uses is simple, locate the party organizer and tell him that if there is any trouble, we are going to go to him first and he will be accountable for the damage.

“Here you have a group of guys who don’t go out a lot, there adrenaline is going and they’re drunk, one thing leads to another and the guys gets a little touchy-feely. The fist thing you want to avoid is some stranger coming up to him in front of a dancer telling him he has to stop what he’s doing. But with the organizer of the party we will go over to him and stand by while the organizer tells him he has to stop. It usually works.”

The biggest complaints are a customer is getting too friendly or they won’t pay for a lap dance. The majority of the time it is the dancer’s fault. They let the guy go out of bounds or danced for a few extra songs without telling him he’s got to pay $20.00 a song. 9 out of 10 times, the dancer usually complains after she has been stiffed. These ladies know how to hustle and they are shrewd. Most people will just pay, but some don’t. That’s the chance you take. Good dancers should let the customer know what is required before the next dance and get payment up front.

Tonight’s first party goes off without a hitch. But its not done yet. Once the party gets released into general population (the rest of the bar) you have to keep an eye on them. Customers sometimes feel they have a special relationship with a dancer, well at the end of the day, its just business.

The second bachelor party may be a problem. They arrive and half of them are already drunk. The groom can barely stand. The party is costing a couple of thousand non-refundable dollars and it may not even kick off. There is pushing and shoving amongst them at the door and immediately the organizer, in this case, the best man is approached by Damian with 3 other members of the team, leaving only 2 inside to over look the regular customers. “Listen, I want you guys to have a good time, but not like this. We will shut this thing down right now if you can’t get these guys under control. So this is what we are going to do. We’ll let you in groups of 4. This way you can settle in the room and get comfortable.”

The best man agrees, informs the group and the first four are let in. He does this for a two reasons, first to separate their numbers. When they are in a pack, they feel invincible. Once they get in, they start looking at the girls and realize they want to stay, second to allow the problem customers to calm down. If they can’t, they won’t make it into the club.

Five minutes later, the next group of 4 go in. Another five minutes and the next group of 4 enter. Finally after 30 minutes, the last few problem patrons remain. “Fellas, I have to have you guys coherent and understand that its not the wild west, can you do that?”

Two agree, two do not. He let’s the two who have calmed down in and asks the others to walk with him out side. “Hey guys, come here, lets talk.” Damian and the other three bouncers move outside. “Guys I can’t let you in.”

They don’t like the news. They push up on the 4 man team, but it’s too late. The police have already been called and they are there. Before you know it, they are answering questions of the local PD. Complaints of not having a ride home can be heard as they go back into the club.

“That went surprisingly smooth” says Ross, “if the PD was a few seconds late, wewould be out there answering questions as well.”

The rest of the evening goes without a hitch. The staff is tucked away in their cars and the clock on the wall says 3:00am, time to go home.

At the end of the night, we grab a cup of coffee and I ask Damian, what’s the craziest thing you’ve seen?

“There are always ‘bad apples’ and we have had to toss drug dealers and dancers for using drugs on premises, it’s simply not tolerated. I’ve even had to bounce a guy who was enjoying himself a bit too much. There he was, sitting at the bar, literally pleasuring himself. It really disgusted me; add to that that he was about 60 years old! I said, I don’t think you’re winding your watch, put that thing away and get the hell out of here.”

Do you have any advice for other bouncers?

“Don’t make the mistake I made when I started. Woman patronizing a strip club are out of control, they can be the worst (or the best). They tend to get a little too familiar. But never, ever let a single woman in by herself.”

“When I started, a little thing about 5” nothing came in. I thought nothing of it, until she located her boyfriend sitting at a table minding his own business. The next thing I knew they had words and se left. I thought it was over, until she came in again. I wasn’t paying attention, it was late and I chased after her. By the time I got to the table she had thrown his beer in his face and deposited a side view mirror of a jeep (apparently his) on the table. It took 3 of us to take her out. Once she got in the parking lot she continued to “customize” his jeep.”

These and other instances were common place in Damian Ross’s life but its just another day in the life of a strip club bouncer.

Damian Ross is CEO of The Self Defense Company, a global organization dedicated to defensive tactics training and education. You can visit their site at www.selfdefensecompany.com